Gratitude

I know how cliche it is to write about being thankful on this day. But I have not posted anything so far about how great my life is today compared to how it used to be. I’ve shared a little bit about the beginning of my journey but have not even got to the tip of the ice burg yet. I really went down through there and will go in to detail later. I did things that made me lose custody of all of my kids and absolutely continues to have an impact on my day to day mental well-being.

Despite the fact that I have lost precious things in my life I have also gained in other areas. I no longer wake up every morning pissed off that I am still alive. Today I wake up with a purpose and responsibility. I live in a house today versus a camper filled with so much garbage I can hear the rats crawling around at night. I have hot water. I have toilet paper! I have clean clothes and my pantry is never bare. I have a vehicle and a valid driver’s license! I have held a job for over a year; whereas before I couldn’t even get hired anywhere because I was truly unemployable.

More than any of these material things I have a renewed mind. Today I know that I can go through heartbreaks and rough patches and I do not have to run to a substances to stay alive. I never thought that would be possible. I had a reason to pop pills or to drink for everything. I had to use these uppers because it gave me motivation to study for school. I had to take these downers because I was having anxiety about all the responsibilities that were piling up due to me procrastinating. I had to drink just one more drink to get me to the point of not caring about anything for just a little bit. I had to smoke this bowl to laugh and be happy. I know so much different today.

I have walked through an adoption trial with my youngest and lost the fight without popping a pill. I have learned how to become a dependable wife without sneaking and chugging a beer in the backroom. I have formed a relationship with God and am continually making steps on growing closer to Him. I used to get so angry wondering why I was dealt the cards of having to battle addiction and then sobering up just to fall back down again. Today I know I had to go through all of that so I could get the experience to help the sick and suffering and to offer a helping hand.

Truly a blessing. My husband and I did all of this ourselves. First time having Thanksgiving at our house. Just us and our girls. (Don’t be jealous of all our fine china! LOL)

Published by Amanda Bunch

My name is Amanda Bunch. I am 32 years old and am a recovering drug addict/alcoholic. I have been married for 3 years to the love of my life. We have definitely had some intense highs and lows and I'd like to share them all. I have 3 children and am a part- time parent and would love to share everything on that. My battle with drugs and alcohol has had a lot of consequences but it is possible to accept life as it is sober and take responsibility for my actions. I have so much experience, strength and hope I'd love to share with everyone.

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