Continuing The Journey

Hey guys! I am still super new to blogging and doing research on it so I am not really great at it just yet.. I am sure my posts seem all over the place! Haha! Which is pretty accurate to me personally so it’s fine. Today I will be picking up where I left off with Battling Sobriety.

After my first stay in detox not much changed. I started right back where I left off but probably even worse. I had met my new neighbor right before I checked in to detox and found out she liked to escape her reality just like I did. So, when I got back we started trading pills with each other and smoking weed together. I was really miserable with W**** and at one point remember telling my sister-in-law that I would just have to live a double life. I couldn’t leave Wiley because of my son but I had to have some sort of happiness.

I ended up telling him that I could not picture myself staying with him and being sober. That I had to be messed up to be around him. Burn. He lost it. I remember getting my son and telling him we where having a sleep over next door. W**** started getting his friend to call me threatening he was about to shoot himself. I could not go back.

I vaguely remember going to the courthouse with W**** to file for a divorce and meeting with a lawyer and finding out that since it had only been 2 months we could have it annulled. So we did.

Me and my son moved back in with my parents and Lord have mercy that was a train wreck. I tried talking with my mom about everything but when I told her that W**** had started being physical her response was “Well I’m sure you did something to deserve it.” So that ended me trying to connect with my mom on that level.

As soon as my sister-in-law found out I had left Wiley she immediately tried to get me to meet one of her friends. I held off for about a week. LOL.

We started talking on MySpace I think. Or Facebook. I can’t remember and then he asked me out on a date. And I honestly do not remember one thing about that night. I want to say we went to Olive Garden but I do not remember conversations or any other details. But it must have went well because he asked me out again. Bless his heart. Our entire relationship was a blur. I want to say the 2nd date I ended up passing out from mixing Benzos and alcohol and I woke up at his house. He had driven me and my son whom he had just met to his house and let me sleep while he took care of a kid he didn’t know….

This guy was anti drug anti alcohol anti everything like that. But it did not take long for him to figure out that I was pro everything like that. He stuck with me though. He tried everyway he knew how to fix me. He even talked me into moving 5 hours away! LOL. He really wanted to get rid of me!

During our 5 month relationship he stayed with me through my second round of detox and my first stay at an inpatient rehab.

That second detox was a lot different than the first. The first one they just kept me knocked out and flushed my system out. The second one had groups where you had to interact with other people. Not my cup of tea. During my stay I snuck a 45 year old man in my room ( I was 19 at the time) and I faked 2 panic attacks to try and get the nurses to get me something. I got a crack head Leukemia patient to give me her pain meds and snorted some Valium that a new patient had snuck in. Needless to say I did not detox from anything.

The day my parents picked me up they took me out to eat and I ordered a margarita that my mom vouched for me and my dad was against. Then I got them to drop me off at my old neighbor’s house (yes right next door to my ex) so we could smoke weed. Basically that trip to the detox was pointless. I never even agreed to go I got dropped off there on one of my binges.

I had driven my son to school in pretty much a black out that morning. I was hitting stuff on the side of the road (like people’s mailboxes). I am so lucky that I did not hurt my son or get pulled over. God definitely had His angels in that car ride. I apparently was texting R** and it was just a bunch of numbers and letters. I got scared and called my mom. She said I came home with my front bumper hanging off and my passenger mirror gone. And that I walked inside and passed out on the couch.

She called my dad home from work and we apparently had a little intervention. I remember me and him going on a ride but I’m in and out of consciousness. When I woke up I was in a hospital room with someone going through a bag of mine. I said “Where am I?” They said “You’re in detox..in Demopolis.” I had no clue where I was …

Published by Amanda Bunch

My name is Amanda Bunch. I am 32 years old and am a recovering drug addict/alcoholic. I have been married for 3 years to the love of my life. We have definitely had some intense highs and lows and I'd like to share them all. I have 3 children and am a part- time parent and would love to share everything on that. My battle with drugs and alcohol has had a lot of consequences but it is possible to accept life as it is sober and take responsibility for my actions. I have so much experience, strength and hope I'd love to share with everyone.

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